I feel like I've never been someone's first choice. I've always been second best with everything. In Math, Science, Literature, art, cooking and relationships; second best daughter, sister, friend, lover. I hate being mediocre. I want to actually be number one In something I can be proud of. I guess I have to accept that there's always going to be someone better in some areas. There's no such thing as a life better than yours. I just need to continue to say that to myself. But fuck, why couldn't I be your first and only choice at least?